In my last post, I spoke about the importance of couples listening to one another, and I suggested an emotional intimacy formula that is more or less full proof when used consistently.
The formula involved the couples asking the other one simple question and making one simple statement:
- What’s that like?
- Tell me more.
About what power this tiny formula will have when applied lovingly in an “unhurried” manner.
Often when I officiate a wedding ceremony, I will state “now it takes three of you to keep your marriage strong. “What I could say is, “make no mistake, in order for your married love to stay vibrant, you both need to make every effort to not only relate to one another, but to also nurture your “marriage”.
Notice, I said in an “unhurried” manner.
Life can get so busy that we lose “ear sight” of one another.
And it is all too easy to put emotional intimacy at the bottom of our way- too- lengthy “to-do” lists.
When my husband Bob officiates weddings, couples often ask him, “Will you stay for the dinner?” Bob often smiles and shares, “so sorry, this is date night for my wife and me”. The couples often remark ”hey, that’s great”, and some have even come back for their vow renewals and shared how that one remark encouraged them to make time for one another and for their marriage through their own consistent “date night”.
Date night for Bob and I means we prioritize time for our couple-ship and our marriage.
Like watering a plant to insure that it thrives and grows, we “water the life in our marriage.”
How do you make time for what matters? My soon to be published journal is designed to help individuals and couples do just that. Let me ask again, “How do you make time for your marriage?”
I suggest, you consider making 30 minutes, sit down in 2 chairs looking at one another, pick a topic to share and begin listening using the simple formula. Next month I will provide examples of how to successfully use this communication tool to revitalize your love. After all, “we only take the love we make”.