If you are planning your wedding and you’ve already been through one, in a “previous life, you know better that anyone that this wedding is your wedding. And today, unless you adhere to strict religious or social traditions, you can do just about anything you want. You can wear something borrowed, have your father give you away and even wear white. You can have a traditional wedding, something that defies all tradition or anything in between. How you show your commitment to one another is very personal and should reflect who you are together. After all, it’s your big day!
Here are 7 ideas to help you plan your wedding, your way:
1. Involve Your Families.
If either or both of you have children, find thoughtful ways to include them in your big day. Have them say a few words or read a special passage during your ceremony. Children can hand out programs before the ceremony, be flower girls, ring bearers, bridesmaids and groomsmen. They can be maids of honor, best men and even give a toast at the reception.
Invite family members to get more involved in the planning. You might want their help with developing seating arrangements, menu planning, color selection, whatever will lighten your load and get them involved. You can even ask a family member to officiate your ceremony.
2. Enlist the help of a wedding planner.
Consider using a professional wedding planner. Not only can they help you with all the little details, but they can share lessons learned regarding second weddings and take the stress out of planning your big day.
3. Plan the wedding together.
Discuss how you would have done things differently than your last wedding ceremony and what you wish you had included. Maybe you wanted to have a wedding on the beach but your budget or location would not allow it. Second marriage ceremonies are perfect as destination weddings.
If you got married in an “Elvis chapel” in Las Vegas, you probably don’t want to repeat that experience. While you may consider some of the elements that made your first wedding memorable, keep in mind that there may be guests who attended “that” wedding. Give them something new to remember, that truly reflects the partnership you are now embarking on.
4. Be Creative!
While white is always in style for a wedding gown even when it’s not your first time around, remember it’s your wedding. You can wear any color you choose!
Get formal, or not. Sit down dinners are great but consider a buffet with carving stations and food stations with foods that reflect your style, lifestyle and guest preferences.
Host a cocktail reception in an unusual place, like a rooftop or well-known locale.
A theme wedding is not out of the question. Love Mexican food (or Chinese or Italian)? Even if it’s not part of your cultural upbringing, a food-themed wedding can be fun and inviting. You can even ask your guests to “dress the part.”
If you really want to throw people off and avoid all those second wedding questions, throw a surprise party. Select a date and venue. Invite guests to attend your “party” stressing how much you really want them to be there. Be sure to include suggested attire - you don’t want your guests to be embarrassed by showing up in blue-jeans to a formal affair. And if it’s a theme-oriented event, they will appreciate knowing what to wear, should they choose to do so.
5. Make sure your invitations reflect who will be hosting the wedding.
If you and your partner are hosting (code for paying for), phrase your invitations in a way that makes sense - such as “together with their parents (or families)... invite you to …” Or list your children as the hosts giving their parents away. Your invitation can be formal or casual depending on your personality and venue.
6. To Register or Not?
Even if you have been married before, there is no rule that says you cannot have a wedding registry. Already have all the china and other first-wedding accoutrements? Consider a honeymoon registry. Or home-improvement fund as your wedding registry. Or something all-together different, such as inviting your guests to donate to a favorite cause or local charity.
7. Write Your Own Vows.
Chances are, your first wedding was pretty traditional with someone reciting vows to you and the audience (repeat after me). Take this opportunity to write something more personal that reflects where you and your partner are in life, what you expect from your marriage and partner, what you want the future to hold. Ask for what you want and expect. Share what you want to “give” to your partner. These are the things that express love in a very personal and meaningful way.
If you want your partner to tell you “I love you” every day or leave you love notes add that to your vows. If one is taller than the other, include a phrase such as “and I promise to reach for all the out of reach things…” If one of you likes to fold clothes include that in your vows. Make it personal and fun.
And if you are considering a destination wedding for your second wedding- see what A Beautiful Florida Wedding has to offer. We will help you make your wedding a perfect reflection of you and your partner in a tropical paradise you and your guests will enjoy and remember for a lifetime.